Blog on the Tyne

Stephen Woolston Training and Consultancy: A metaphor about tracking patterns

2011-12-12T00:55:00.000-08:00

Short, simple & smart metaphor :)

Stephen Woolston Training and Consultancy: A metaphor about tracking patterns: One of the things we assume in NLP is that people are systematic in their behaviour, not random. We exhibit repeating patterns — patterns ...

Dignity in Dying - Blog - Sheilagh Matheson - In Memory of Geraldine McClelland.

2011-12-10T00:24:00.000-08:00

Dignity in Dying - Blog - Sheilagh Matheson - In Memory of Geraldine McClelland.

I've never re-posted someone elses blog - this is the first.

My friend Sheilagh's inspirational story ...

What IS it? NLP that is.

2011-12-04T10:41:00.001-08:00

Unlike my usual posts - this one is a little promotional in nature! Ho hum. I still reckon you might find it interesting if you look beyond what it is that you don't want. Hope so. Do let me know ...

Contrary to popular belief, NLPwasn’t created, invented and isn’t a ‘thing’.

NLP started out exploring how,when exposed to the same stimulus, some people made positive change and othersdidn’t. It became the study of human excellence, developing into ‘models’ ofexcellence. These solution-focused models could then be taught, and when usedelegantly (as the originators intended), brought about rapid change inbehaviour – in ones self and in others.

Natural evolution (over 40 years)of the original models have now permeated most aspects of human communication, notablybusiness, medicine, education, therapy and sport. Licensed training takes placeglobally and the originators Dr Richard Bandler and John Grinder are still extremelyactive in continuing to develop further exciting models of human excellence.

We regularly assist Dr RichardBandler in his European trainings and keep up to date with latest developmentsand technologies such as NHR (Neuro Hypnotic Repatterning - fast-tracking thehabit of feeling happy for no good reason), and DHE (Design Human Engineering - creating powerful motivational strategies). Our consultancy, coaching and training bespokes the best of these technologies. Read our website testimonials to understand how. Would you like to explore the possibilities for more efficient ways to use your brain at work, home or play? Behave more effectively and get smarter results?

Perhaps you've wondered about becoming a licensed NLP Practitioner and getting the most out of yourself andthose around you? Maybe your comapny offers NLP training as part of its CPD and you'd like to know more? If you run your own business, you may well be eligible for funding towards NLP training as director/management development. You know we're experts in personalising accelerated learning so why not dip your toe in and experience a free NLP taster session - this Saturday 10th December in South Gosforth.

Check out our website w. www.the-me-group.com

2011-11-19T09:12:00.001-08:00

Autumn Leaves

Curl and swirl the autumn path
Adept in nature’s flow
Delight my eyes before you
Watching scurry to and fro

Dance and prance to rise beyond
Pirouette, soar and glide
Your symphony of crispness
Until harmonies subside

Nest now amongst the masses
Mildly flutter until calm
Return to pastures underfoot
Surrender without qualm

Words by Kay Cooke
Image by Emily Allinson
All rights reserved

2011-11-13T05:41:00.001-08:00

+ NLP First Aid +

As first 'mum' into the emergency room following a car crash involving my son and his two mates, I was fortunately able to quickly assess my son was going to be OK, however it was quickly apparent that one of the other boys (Charlie) was in quite a bad way.

Eventually, and for the first time in several hours, Charlie was left alone for a few moments, in a semi conscious state trying desperately to make sense of the situations and things he thought he had heard about his injuries. At that time, his relatives were still unaware of his situation, and I moved into his cubicle with the intention of retrieving his mobile phone to call his family.

Charlie has long been a regular guest in our home and I know him well, so I quickly had to realise my immediate choices as I entered his cubicle - I could stay focused on the task of retrieving the phone and leave him to his mind’s distortions of what was happening to him and what he had overheard the medics discussing; become emotionally involved myself in his drama or, dissociate enough to utilize the NLP & NHR skill set that I know can bring about instant and amazing results - I chose the latter.

As is so often the way when we operate through unconscious competence within the other person's map of the world, it's hard to recall specifics, but I can share some key NLP first aid points that noticeably improved Charlie's state:

Neuro - because my own strong internal state of calm confident energy re-assured his unconscious mind.

Linguistic - utilising Milton Model language patterns to inoculate against and temporally shift his rising panic, whist stacking presuppositions of his recovery.

Programming - by quickly ascertaining how he was stressing himself in order to swiftly interrupt those patterns.

The truth is that within a few minutes, his essential monitor readings (at least the ones I could track, such as heart rate and blood pressure) improved significantly.

I overheard a medic asking the lady in the adjacent cubicle ‘how is your pain coming along?' Just think about that for a moment - the presupposition that the pain belongs to you and is growing... It is not rocket science and, for example, if you say "this" pain or "that" pain, which feels more real and up close?

There are many reasons that I am grateful to have learned the discipline and art of the Bandler Technologies, and this real life story illustrates yet another.

NB/ All boys were released from hospital within a week and continue to make a healthy recovery.

Congruence

2011-11-12T02:47:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I was reminded of Virginia Satir’s work onCongruence - double level messages.

You know the scene where instinctively youjust know another person’s words and music don’t match.

In my work I ask students and clients to NOTICECONGRUENCE.

LISTEN to the spoken language of a person’s conscious mindand LOOK for body language that reveals their feelings – their (often)unconscious truth.

Double level messages – useful to be aware of in business, atplay, in relationships...

Of course it’s folly to attempt to interpret the incongruence!

However, simply recognising it offers a great level of ‘enquiry’ or ‘inquiry’that generates a platform of feeling good about ourselves. Self esteem is built upon feeling congruent. And when peoplefeel good about themselves, they make the smartest decisions.

How do you know when you are being congruent? Your mostauthentic self? Your truth? How does it feel?

Whatever you practise, you get good at!

Words and images copyright of Kay Cooke 2011

Marketing Unconsciously

2011-10-06T05:13:00.000-07:00

Before exploring processes that influence human behaviour, it’suseful to suspend judgement of any sense of right/wrong. Paying attention tothe ‘how’ behavioural influence works, is likely to smooth the progress ofbetter decision-making, which has got to be a good thing, right?

Have you ever hit the high street and found your eyes fixingon the bargains? Maybe the visual anchors of brightly coloured labels. Or maybeyou check out a particular bargain area, shelf/window.

Did you know that supermarkets strategically use colouredlabels (especially yellow) because research suggests we respond to certaincolours in certain ways. No brainer really! The same is true of productpositioning on aisles and shelves. If you owned a retail store you’d be verykeen to model these consumer behaviours wouldn’t you?

Don’t you find it fascinating how people make strongemotional connections to particular ‘on trend’ brands. Have you noticed that thisdrills straight into ‘identity’?

Temperature too, affects our emotional connections - apparentlypeople like people/products/adverts more when they holding something warm, likea cup of tea. Useful to know this kinaesthetic tip when you are selling yourhouse huh? And people buy more food when their olfactory nerves are stimulatedby smells of fresh baking/cooking; hence many supermarkets have installedovens.

I for one have bought perfume on impulse having wanderedthrough the fragrant mists of a department store, have you?

Basic sales training dictates ‘every customer has a need’ –sales assistants become skilful in building fast rapport to quickly elicit theneed - functional or feeling.

Many smart promotions artificially induce a need by temptingus to compare ourselves with, for example, a 7-foot blemish free (air-brushed)Catherine Zeta Jones who may, in the moment, convince your unconscious mindthat you/your partner might look as desirable as her, despite protestationsfrom rational, conscious thinking.

Background music also influences crowd mood and speed offootfall. Musical tempo, volume and genre. A trick so often overlooked bymanagers leaving music choice to staff.

So when we as NLPers pay attention to advertising metaphorsand sensory seductions, we can understand a little more than many and make(perhaps) more informed choices. Just a thought :)

Neuro Hypnotic Repatterning (NHR) 10 Years On

2011-09-27T11:30:00.000-07:00

A short interview with Kate Benson, Director of Meta NLP and organiser ofspecialist NHR trainings in the UK

For those ofus in the industry, it seems hard to believe that it’s 10 years since NeuroHypnotic Repattterning came to the UK. Recently, I spoke with Kate Benson tounderstand a little of the history of these trainings.

”As far as Iknow, Richard, John and I are the only ones to have participated every NHRprogramme ever run” explains Kate. The Richard to whom Kate refers is of courseDr Richard Bandler – co-creator of Neuro Linguistic Programming. John is JohnLa Valle – President of the Society of NLP, and Kate is International Directorof Education for the Society of NLP.

I am curious about how and why Kate began organising NHR training here in theUK and I ask Kate to elaborate: “well it began when I agreed with Richard thatI would organise ‘an introduction’ tohis very latest, leading edge work, in Edinburgh and Dublin and it seemedsensible to find out more about the thing I was about to promote. So I headedout to the original NHR seminar held in Los Angeles in 2000, and, NHR quitesimply blew me away”

This impactleft Kate with an overwhelming feeling that this was precisely what she hadbeen looking for and she intuitively saw the opportunity for specialist NHRtraining in the UK.

“Thistraining demonstrates pretty much how Richard actually works with his clients using his latest methodologies,”explains Kate, keen to share these extraordinary powerful training experiences.As one specialist practitioner put it 'It’sa bit unfair; since I did NHR I have such an advantage because everything I doworks really well’.' "

So what isNHR?

NHR works with a person’s neurology and involves the enteric nervous system,utilising rapid change through whole body response. NHR works directly with thekinaesthetics, locking in change with hypnosis.

Kate revealsthat when people ask how NHR is different to NLP or DHE, her response directsthem to explore the original questions that led to their developments.

The original NLP question was something like ‘how is it that, when exposed tothe same stimulus, some people made positive change and others don’t?’
NLP therefore became the study of excellence, based on the model ofelegance.

The originalDHE question was something like ‘some humans use unhelpful ways to motivatethemselves to do great things, how can we design from scratch perfectstrategies using everything we have got?’

And theoriginal NHR question seems the simplest of all; ‘how can people feel happy for no good reason – as a habit?’

Over thepast 10 years, many specialist NHR practitioners (myself included) havereported wonderful changes in friends, families, colleagues, children andclients. One clientreported ‘With NHR you know you have hadthe experience but you can’t get back to the feelings – in fact every time youthink about it, it just doesn’t matter anymore and I feel good anyway.’

For me, Ican take just a few minutes - in a traffic jam or waiting in a queue. Theseskills allow you to bathe your neurology in feel good neuro-chemicals and saygoodbye to feeling irritated, stressed or worried.

As Kate says“the more Richard learns, the easier itgets for the rest of us …”

For me I wouldsay that my NHR experiences have been life changing – many lives …

Celebrating10 years of NHR in the UK - this year’s training takes place in Brighton (Oct 22-26) and may be the lastopportunity for a bit longer than usual as Kate has just announced an 18-monthbreak in order to change the cycle of training dates, “we are busy working toaccommodate new exciting developments within the education field and taking ashort break after 10 years seems perfect timing.”

See you inBrighton Kate!

For further detailsgo to www.meta-nlp.co.uk

‘If NLP is installing new software, NHR hacks straight intothe hard drive’
Jonathan Jenkyn

Freedom From Fretting

2011-08-15T10:40:00.000-07:00

My client and I began discussing how, in the past, he had experienced what he called ‘panic attacks’ in a public speaking situation.

My client session feedback notes may be useful for anyone in a similar situation. Feel free to try on some of these tips and feedback the results :-)

Synopsis:

These stress responses are always a result of something you are doing inside your mind leading up to the event – either an unhelpful internal dialogue or a catastrophising internal movie, or after the event (beating your self up on reflection).

These are the things you have great power over once you notice the correlation between see/hear (internal), your emotional response and behaviour (external). So we need to train your brain to challenge those unhelpful thoughts that lead to a stress response.

Some helpful techniques include:

Catastrophising on purpose – explore the worst case scenario for a full 5 minutes, force your self to time this and be present with those awful thoughts for 5 mins. Then switch to the OPPOSITE and dream about the best-case scenario for a further 5 minutes, visualising everything possible that would be just perfect. Then REFRAME to the most likely scenario – somewhere in between the two extremes!

Reflect to mine nuggets of gold – reflection is vital to gather insights and feedback to inform your future. The past is over, so learn and carry forward your learnings.

Let the thoughts pass – you don’t have to believe the thoughts in your mind! They have just been produced from old beliefs. They are not truths, only fears presenting themselves. You can choose to simply not believe them and allow them to pass on, or you could collect any valuable insights they may offer. A useful mantra is ‘I don’t have to believe this thought’. Remember the thoughts/beliefs are like the shit around the diamond inside you – don’t believe shit do you?

Cut the overwhelm – when your brain goes into ‘possibilities’ mode you can feel overwhelmed. Sometimes you need to switch to ‘necessity’ mode to balance and reframe what is really important. Exploring possibilities is great for creative thought or planning, so do plan some thinking time, however remember to balance any negative options with lots of positive ones!

CHANGE THE PICTURE – drain out the colour and reduce the size of unhelpful internal images (still or moving). Turn down the volume too.

Generate helpful pictures and soundtracks where, you can experiment with increasing volume, brightness and size - what else can you do inside your mind's eye?

7 +/- 2 chunks – your conscious mind can only deal with 5-9 ‘chunks’ of information at any one time, so cut the (crap) unecessary thoughts - think lean and use your brain more efficiently.

Trust – you have great capability and vast experience and these internal resources are most accessible if you keep your emotional state in good nick.

TIPS for improving emotional state

BREATHING – breathe deeply in and out pushing your diaphram down into your belly. A deep breath in activates the release of good brain chemistry and the slow out breath out, lowers blood pressure and relaxes the body.

VOICE POWER – slow down your articulation, lower your voice tonality until it resonates from your belly. You will sound convincing and credible.

SPINNING – notice how any nervousness flutters in your body (eg rising into your chest) and allow this movement to loop back on itself. You will notice that if you spin it in one direction it will worsen and so slow it down and then begin to reverse it until you feel better, and then increase this momentum until you feel fabulous.

MOVE – break an unhelpful state by physically moving and internally shake off nerves.

ONE POINT – connect with your centre of energy (chi/ki/hara) just below your navel and spin your power base outwards to feel powerful. Stand balanced and grounded.

DEFOCUS EYES – to relax into your talk.

Bite Sized NLP - Meta Reflections

2011-03-27T09:21:00.000-07:00

You can easily imagine this NLP training environment with delegates engaged and (potentially controversial) movie clip on pause …
(Internal Attention, Presupposition, Pre-frame, Environment)

“Just before we begin, I want you to pay attention to your internal state changes as you relate them to certain audio-visual cues, OK?”
(Presupposition, Pace and Lead, Behaviour & Capability, Attention-Internal, Calibration, Cues)

“I’d like you to be aware of your Meta Programme filters, especially where what you see and hear ‘fits’ your personal map of the world, and also any sense of ‘trespass’ where your beliefs may have felt violated.”
(Sensory input, Model of the Word, Meta Programmes, Beliefs & Values, Future Pacing)

“I want you also to be aware of new thoughts, connections and ideas that will have arisen as a result of your thinking being ‘challenged’.”
(Presupposition – Modal Operator of Possibility)

Watch the film. http://wayseermanifesto.com/

“Your impressions please?”
(Open Ended, Presupposition)

“Some of you have noticed a general theme and liked the message”
(Big Picture, Matching, Sensing)

“While others have immediately offered what you didn’t like, in detail and with analysis.”
(Mis-matching, Detail, Thinking).

“And you may have heard people saying ‘I am not the kind of person who’ … or ‘as a parent/coach/teacher/graduate in …I think’”
(Identity)

“How many emotional state changes did you notice during the initial process of watching the movie, and how many state changes are you noticing as we are reflecting now?”
(Contrastive Frame, Calibration, Temporal Language)

“Have your state change cues been predominantly visual or auditory?”
(Cues)

“What did you notice about the person sitting next to you as they accessed the representation of their recall?”
(Presupposition, Predicates, Eye Accessing, Submodalities, Metaphor)

“Now, how much more aware are you of the difference between content and process?”
(Presupposition – Strategies).

Meta Reflection
For those of you reading this who were actually present in that room – what new perspectives do you now have?

Resiliency on the battlefield: Soldiers with a positive outlook less likely to suffer anxiety, depression

2011-01-17T08:16:00.000-08:00

Resiliency on the battlefield: Soldiers with a positive outlook less likely to suffer anxiety, depression

New Year New You

2011-01-13T05:44:00.000-08:00

New Year – New you?

2011 could be your year. You know the year, where life just makes better sense when you realise just how good it feels to be in ‘the flow.’ Go ahead this year and carefully craft your desires and who knows … quite possibly you’ll discover just how flexible your life-responses can be. How would it feel for you to navigate this new dimension with total certainty?

This is your life. When did you last review that? Truthfully? Do you consider yourself the captain of your own ship? Or simply a passenger by default?

And, for the record, when did you last visit that 6-inch playing field that sits between your ears? You know – the one that actually determines just how happy, lucky and successful your life experience is.

This is true.

Have you ever thrown a pebble into a still pond and watched as the ripples outwardly migrate? That’s cause and effect isn’t it? Science. We like to understand, measure and predict outcomes.

Harnessing the science of your mind might prove to be the challenge of this lifetime yet it could lead to a more fulfilling life of perceived freedom and choice. Nice though huh? Often, at this time of year, people motivate themselves through goal setting which seems a useful start to the year, to know where you are heading and predicting what life will be like when you get there.

Will you achieve your 2011 goals, and if so, then what? Is it possible that some of your goals may be beyond realistic? Have you ever wondered what happens inside your mind when you think about, set, achieve or even sabotage goals?

Neuro Linguistic Programming is a framework that helps you to understand how you do what you do. Think, behave, feel and do. More choice is liberating. Would you like more choice?

Perhaps you like to be lost in a sea of people when you are on a training course, and if so, we’re not the learning vessel for you! We run a small tight ship that installs sublime learning of all things NLP guaranteed to make your difference!

Whose life is it anyway?

2011 could be your year, why wait to take control?

Don’t just take my word for it – check out what our previous delegates and clients have said and check out our next NLP trainings: CLICK HERE

Maybe it’s time for you to overhaul your thinking vessel and contemplate exciting new horizons!

First impressions of NLP from a newly qualified practitioner

2010-11-26T03:22:00.000-08:00

http://wellbanked.blogspot.com/2010/11/nlp-practitioner-first-impressions.html

Introduction to Happy Brain

2010-11-25T14:23:00.000-08:00

My work with children is based on connecting them to their learning using the best of whole brain, sensory based learning, multiple intelligences, Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Neuro Hypnotic Repatterning (NHR). Much of this practice is delivered discreetly, laterally and is responsive to the moment. My work seeds concepts that can grow over time and are not designed to be measured. I design exercises and games that, as processes, help people learn about themselves and those around them. Many adults are still trying to figure themselves out and get better results in life because they simply haven’t learned how to learn about themselves. Much of my career has revolved around liberating the minds of people who have become trapped by the boundary conditions of their thinking – in all walks of life. Whilst this may be necessary intervention, it makes greater sense to me to pour our energy into a more ‘preventative’ educational process and nurture smarter healthier minds for the future.

Our latest project in schools is called HAPPY BRAIN

It may be a useful reminder that learning is state dependent and either end of the emotional scale (state) can be used, however when we think about it – how many adults associate school with a negative state? This is important to flag up because once we take this on board (the concept of how anchors are established) we can begin to see how easily children get ‘switched off’ or develop barriers to learning. In my work I see vast opportunities for educators who haven’t until now fully understood that building fast, positive, powerful learning states = bigger, better and faster results – in any curriculum area; this is all about process and positive emotional states!

I see real magic in the classroom when learners make linear AND non-linear connections and I fear we have become stifled within a linear system that asks ‘did you learn x or y’, or ‘what (specifically) did you learn’. I often ask teachers and parents ‘how can we become curious magicians who transform children into independent, balanced, happy adults? How many teachers stop and simply wonder about in the many levels of learning that are occurring simultaneously? Learning is a magical change that happens through the whole mind and body and magic is definitely not pulling a rabbit out of a hat! That is simply the magic of illusion. Einstein said ‘we are only constrained by the boundary conditions of our thinking’ – I ask ‘how else can we measure progress, other than by the systems we are currently abiding by?

I worry that identity and behaviour get confused sometimes as we label and box children as ‘difficult’, ‘lazy’, ‘naughty’ or ‘awkward’? Of course a person cannot-not project their own judgements, which frighteningly fast becomes extremely ‘magical’ learning in itself, if somewhat negative… Anyone who has heard a child say ‘I am naughty’ or ‘he is disruptive’ can hear the potent mix of behaviour with identity.

How easy would it be for teachers to work beyond their personal limits and engage only on the realms of win-win, exploration and wonder about how we can nurture totally amazing adults?

I’m hugely motivated to remove barriers to learning – in any subject or area of life. Learning brains make smarter decisions and happier societies. Let's encourage more Happy Brain thinking!

John Hardy: My green school dream | Video on TED.com

2010-11-23T13:20:00.000-08:00

What a fabulous idea on so many levels!
John Hardy: My green school dream Video on TED.com

Circulation of Wealth

2010-11-17T15:29:00.000-08:00

In a small town on the South Coast of France, the holiday season is in full swing, but it is raining so there is not too much business taking place.

Everyone is heavily in debt.

Luckily, a rich Russian tourist arrives in the foyer of the small local hotel.

He asks for a room and puts a Euro100 note on the reception counter, takes a key and goes to inspect the room located up the stairs on the third floor.

The hotel owner takes the banknote in a hurry and rushes to his meat supplier to whom he owes E100. The butcher takes the money and races to his supplier to pay his debt.

The wholesaler rushes to the farmer to pay E100 for pigs he purchased some time ago.

The farmer triumphantly gives the E100 note to a local prostitute who gave him her services on credit.

The prostitute quickly goes to the hotel, as she was owing the hotel for her hourly room used to entertain clients.

At that moment, the rich Russian comes down to reception and informs the hotel owner that the room is unsatisfactory and takes his E100 back and departs.

There was no profit or income.

But everyone no longer has any debt and the small town's people look optimistically towards their future.

Could this be the solution to the global financial crisis?

2010-11-17T04:16:00.000-08:00

Anyone who has heard a child say ‘I am naughty’ or ‘s/he is disruptive’ can hear the potent mix of behaviour with identity.

How easy would it be for parents and teachers to work beyond their personal limits and engage only on the realms of win-win, exploration and wonder about how we can nurture totally amazing adults?

Happier, smarter brains make better decisions and support happier societies

Distortions of Thought

2010-10-20T04:44:00.000-07:00

"Men are disturbed not by the things that happen but by their opinion of the things that happen" Epictetus

Thought for my day: Am I responding to the reality of any given situation - or am I reacting to my thoughts about how this situation could or should be different? Am I referencing my unpredictable memory of the past (yet feeling secure in its varying distortions)? Am I worrying about what lies ahead in the future (and feeling my insecure predictions)? Or am I engaged with whatever is alive and being presented to me in this very moment through my 5 senses?

"The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts; therefore, guard accordingly." Marcus Aurelius

Authentic Self

2010-06-15T02:50:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

Someone once explained to me that humility is knowing what you do really well and being proud of it, and knowing what you're not good at (yet) and not bragging that you are!

There's a great line in Batman Begins where Rachel Dawes tells Bruce Wayne 'it's what you do that defines you'.

What are you doing everyday that truly reflects your unique excellence? How would you describe this in one simple sentence (as if you were speaking to a five year old)?

Me? I'm fire-starting, change making and mind stretching.

This week at least!

2010-04-30T01:21:00.000-07:00

Image by Donna Cymek via Flickr

Old Irish philosophy:

There are only two things to worry about - are you sick or are you well?

If you're well, there's nothing to worry about.

And if you're sick, there are only two things to worry about - will you live or will you die?

If you live, there's nothing to worry about.

And if you die, there are only two things to worry about - will you go to heaven or will you go to hell?

If you go to heaven, there's nothing to worry about.

And if you go to hell, you'll be so busy shaking hands with all your friends that there's nothing to worry about.

Getting Locked Out

2010-02-20T03:20:00.000-08:00

Image via Wikipedia

Just watched an early episode of Friends, very funny - where they all get locked out of the girls' flat and argue in the hallway:

"You said YOU had the key"

"No I said 'got the key' (inflection up as in a question 'got the key?')"

"No, you said 'got the key' (inflection down as in a statement 'got the key!')"

And so the row went on in typical Friends' style and of course they found a spare key in the boys' flat.

Don't you just love how intonation can make such a difference in communication?

In my job, I notice how conflict (at home, work or play) is so often the result of people's over-reliance on words alone.

Where do we teach our kids that they can become more precise with the 'music' that accompanies words?

I'm thinking of all those fun word-song games on long car journeys.
Just a thought.

2010-02-19T07:35:00.000-08:00

Image via Wikipedia

'Who you are speaks so loudly I can't hear what you're saying.'
Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Primary Gains of Slighting Others

2010-02-01T04:26:00.000-08:00

Image via Wikipedia

Toyota must surely be donning tin hats and battening down their hatches this week because according to press, they’ve announced a worldwide recall of cars whilst expediting a fix for faulty accelerator pedals.

And if we are to believe all we read, there has been a casting of stones by rival car firms yielding bold new adverts such as “our gas pedals don’t stick ...$1,000 discount to anyone trading in a Toyota for one of our models ...”

With around 10% of motor industry sales up for grabs at the moment, such opportunist actions may come as little surprise. But I wonder what would happen if marketing strategists simply extolled the virtues of their own businesses rather than focus negative attention on competitors.

Negative campaigning is not a new human behaviour, but it does seem to be getting more overt and aggressive, and media witch-hunts are frequent. Perhaps this is due to the internet’s infinite resource as a place where anyone can trade dirt – should the motivation exist.

Does mudslinging secure some kind of desirable reputation or brand identity? Presumably so, and there may be those who think old fashioned disingenuous behaviour needs spicing up with a more predatory attack.

So, how does forcing a negative spotlight onto others really make smart marketing sense? And is it endemic? We see our political parties frenzy public opinion by highlighting their opponents’ weaknesses using little more than opinion and cheap shots.

Can human beings ever avoid the temptations of short term ego-fixing ‘look what’s wrong with them (therefore I must be better)’?

Surely we don’t all have to act as if this is the only way, do we? At least let’s think about it first, and perhaps even consider the immortal words of A. A. Milne "The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking."

Serendipity

2010-01-29T04:27:00.000-08:00

Image by brtsergio via Flickr

It is easy to remind ourselves why and how we are connected to certain people, whether friends, family, colleagues or even strangers. Often this is because we have shared trials, tribulations, celebrations and times of endurance.

But do you ever just meet someone and ‘know’ them? How often have you felt that (sometimes misinterpreted) instant attraction?

I have often delighted my mind with the thought that when we meet kindred spirits, we feel a power surge, positive or negative (!). And as I’ve grown wiser, I am really beginning to understand how these soul mates offer us vital challenge, signposting and personal insight.

This morning whilst researching the internet, I discovered this ancient Chinese belief: "An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch, or tangle, but will never break."

Personally, I don’t like the idea of the thread being coloured at all, never mind red, but I love the concept of connection.

Then amazingly over mid-morning coffee, I randomly opened a magazine, only to discover an adaptation of the very same quote:

"An invisible thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch, or tangle, but will never break. May you be open to each thread that comes into your life – the golden ones and the coarse ones – and may you weave them into a brilliant and beautiful life."

Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder?

2009-12-21T14:54:00.000-08:00

I've been away - poorly in fact. Hospital too.
Getting so much better each day, but tediously slow progress.
Progress none the less, as is marked by my triumphant return to play my old friends Blog an Twit.Er baby steps of course.

Yes I missed the mind-dumping business quite seriously.

Thankfully I didn't have the foresight to store said passwords on my laptop otherwise I'd have bored the internet to pieces with tales of stitches, britches and meds.

Passwords now transfered from trusty office comp - yey - the freedom!

Watching this space for the daze ahead and a new me arriving any day soon.

A very merry Christmas season to all.

Learning About NLP

2009-10-12T05:56:00.000-07:00

Image by Themis was here via Flickr

As kids, my brother and I would rummage around in our grandfather’s shed-cum-workshop at the bottom of his garden in deepest Gloucestershire. It was a magical place for us – exploring nook, cranny and object - blissfully ignorant of whatever it was we didn’t know we shouldn’t do or touch!

It was a place that seduced my nose into associating my granddad with the smells of oil, petrol, sawdust, sweat, and goodness knows what other mixtures were randomly stored in jam jars and empty food tins. Our little fingers probed every tin cavity and tool contour as we explored carcasses of engines, motor bikes and things yet unexplained.

According to family lore, my grandfather had a passion for taking things apart and putting them back together, often with a few nuts and bolts to spare. And what’s more, not only did my grandfather’s old motorbikes stay together; the intuitive ‘adjustments’ seemed to actually improve their performance, sometimes exponentially, despite missing the odd nut!

How wonderful that Mother Nature gifts us the ability to play and have fun, and provides us with an instinct about things we don’t understand as well as curiosity to discover things we don’t yet know exist, wouldn’t you agree?

Anyone keen to explore NLP processes might easily escalate their journey by developing those gifts of play, curiosity and instinct. Because by ‘knowing nothing’ and ‘expecting nothing’ we get to see things as they really are.

2009-10-08T03:38:00.000-07:00

How Balanced Are You?

2009-10-01T09:00:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

A simple tip to balance your mind is to take a few minutes in your mind's eye, to mentally scan your body and pay attention to it's symmetry.

Are you sitting/standing as straight as you can?
Notice how it feels to lift your centre of gravity and straighten up.
Are both shoulders as level as they can be - imagine a spirit level laying across shoulder, collar bones, shoulder.
What adjustments do you need to make in order to achieve symmetry (or close to)on either side of your spine?
Now check each side of your body for equal feelings of tension, imbalance and move small muscle groups to help you feel aligned.
Are you breathing in regular pace?

Working towards physiological symmetry can have a profound effect on your thinking patterns, so why not give it a go and see what happens?

Speedy Reader

2009-09-24T05:58:00.000-07:00

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

My friend and six times World Speed Reading Champion Anne Jones read Dan Brown's latest book The Lost Symobol in 41 minutes and 55 seconds! You can win a free place on one of her Speed Reading courses (London or Newcastle) by entering a simple competition here: http://www.borders.co.uk/competitions/

Or visit Anne's website: http://www.speedyreader.co.uk/

Some Books I Like

2009-09-13T04:22:00.000-07:00

Cover of Punk Science: Inside the Mind of God

I've just finished reading The Mind's Eye by Ian Robertson - interesting read about how to exercise our minds through sensory acuity and right hemisphere thinking. Leads to more balanced thinking (which of course influences behaviour). Good perspective on both left and right brain function.

Now I can make the time to finish reading Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton - a really good book that I've taken far to long to finish! This cellular biologist really challenges Newtonian science and he scoffs the idea that genes alone influence our destinies. I'm half way through and still enjoying it.

Then, perhaps I'll read Punk Science by Dr Manjir Samanta-Laughton, another 'traditional science meets ethereal questioning' and just arrived in yesterday's post is Loving What Is by Byron Katie.

How grateful I am to have books, lots of choice, and the ability to read :-)

Local Talent

2009-08-29T06:21:00.000-07:00

Image by samsaundersleeds via Flickr

Such excitement within a small social group in rural Northumberland when a couple of local lads have really begun to make the big time. Their band is called Everything Everything and they've been getting rave reviews on Radio One for months. I've just been sent this link to their Leeds Festival performance, go on, take a peek! The drummer is my mate's boy Mike Spearman and we're very proud of him - and them all!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/readingandleeds/2009/artists/everythingeverything/video2.shtml#emp
Or simply click the title 'Local talent' for link.

Truth and Control States

2009-08-23T02:49:00.000-07:00

Image by Denis Collette...!!! via Flickr

Some people decide ahead of time, precisely what words, music and behaviour they want to see in others and become adept at manipulating such outcomes. And this can be useful in certain situations e.g. a business deal. But much less humane in a family or other learning environment, don't you think?

How familiar are you with your own unique tapestry of truths and in whose company do you feel most inclined to reveal the real you? Conversely, who 'gives you' your opinion(s) or disregards what you reveal as your own?

How much easier is it to accept the truth of a person's uniqueness without fear - when we don't have an emotional link or vested interest?

Isn't it wonderful to meet people who appear to be 'control-state' free and effortlessly liberate the 'truth-states' of others.

No one can force a person towards permanent and creative learning. They will learn only if they will to. Any other type of learning is temporary and inconsistent with the self, and will disappear as soon as the threat is removed."
—Ralph Waldo Emerson

Pissy Niggles

2009-08-08T08:38:00.000-07:00

During a recent training of NLP Master Practitioners, I came up with a word to describe things that piss people off (but aren't huge stressors) : Pissy Niggles!
I like that.
The phrase.
It's here to stay in my trainer vocab.
Especially when you say it by stretching the sound of 'isssssssss' and shorten/sharpen the intonation of 'iggle'.

"Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are." Chinese Proverb

2009-08-08T08:20:00.000-07:00

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

It is pretty easy to feel stressed out from time to time, wouldn't you agree?
Sometimes we simply place too much pressure upon ourselves in an effort to pursue some mythically perfect existence.

The thing about stress is that it comes from feeling you have no choice about something(s). Yet by recognising the choices inherent in any situation (however bizarre), we can regain a sense of being in control and stress less. Here are a few choices:

1. Simply acknowledge and celebrate what you’ve already achieved with a ‘look what I’ve done today' list.
2. If music sets your mood, switch it on, turn it up and have a blast!
3. Be kind to your best friend. Make your best friend you.
4. Be silly! Unleash the 6-year-old within.
5. Say ‘thank you’ for the simplest of things in life.
6. Remember that if you fail to plan you plan to fail - so get planning a bigger brighter future full of wanton pleasure, delight and laughter.
7. Sing. At the top of your voice.
8. Meditate. Go inside and find a quiet moment.
9. Move. Dance, walk, jog, cycle, swim, or simply get up and change chairs.
10. Ask yourself what precisely would you be doing differently now if you only had a few months left in this lifetime ...

Being There

2009-08-07T07:35:00.000-07:00

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.
‘Pooh!’ he whispered.
‘Yes, Piglet?’
‘Nothing,’ said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw.
‘I just wanted to be sure of you.’
-A.A. Milne

Albert Einstein

2009-07-14T02:08:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

The most simple explanation of Einstein's creative strategy is that he would create a visual image and then check it with an internal feeling, which he described as a type of 'knowing' or 'sense that it was right'.
He claimed 'I very rarely think in words at all'.
Walking in the countryside on a beautiful sunny day, he napped on a hillside and felt the sun's rays against his eyelids. He then began to imagine sitting on one of these rays of light and travelling out to the far reaches of the universe.
Interestingly, he discovered that eventually he would return to the place where he had started. This visual construct gave Einstein inspiration to postulate that Space-Time was curved.

When you model the mindsets of the world's most successful men and women, visualisation and intuition seem to be dominant factors in their successes.

Thinking Thoughts

2009-07-12T11:13:00.000-07:00

Dr. Deepak Chopra once quoted a study in which the researchers concluded that the average person thinks approximately 65,000 thoughts per day. They also went on to suggest that of these 65,000, about 95% are exactly the same thoughts that had passed through the minds of people the day before. Other studies show we think between 12,000 – 50,000 thoughts per day, and deep thinkers in excess of 70,000. Now whilst this is not a forum for scientific debate, it does raise a few questions in my mind about the correlation between quality, quantity and types, of thinking.
To illustrate this point with clients, I often use a bubble machine ... asking them which (thought) bubbles they decide to pay attention to and which ones slip past their conscious awareness?

What is an Entrepreneur?

2009-07-12T10:07:00.000-07:00

What is an entrepreneur? Is he or she born, or created? Can NLP processes help develop entrepreneurial characteristics? If so, then how?
I recently debated these questions and more in Rapport magazine pg 38-39
You can read it online:

Dead Rooter

2009-07-09T13:38:00.000-07:00

Image by YardSale via Flickr

A week without internet seems like forever. I mean a business empire could collapse in that time and what, oh what would the world do without me.on.line...

We had an amazing electrical storm which hit our road - awesome fireworks, a burnt tree and one dead rooter, erm, I mean router.

At first I took it personally (the strike); had I got lazy? Did I really need such zapping to wake myself up?

Then the hunger pangs set in. I missed the food of webness so much I was surely in withdrawal symptomania.

One day the pain disappeared, only to be replaced by hallucinations - like my limbs had been removed.

Then I forgot to check for evidence of repair, which is even more bizarre when you think about it.

But hey today. All's well in e-zone once more.

These are a few of our favourite things ... and people

2009-06-29T10:17:00.000-07:00

Check out what we've written about a few of our favourite people:
www.the-me-group.com/newsletter

2009-06-27T09:06:00.000-07:00

Life May Be Like A Jigsaw Puzzle

2009-06-25T07:43:00.000-07:00

Image by Eva the Weaver via Flickr

To further explore our unconscious thinking, we've been exploring 'life' as a metaphor.

Some examples generated within the group:
riding a roller coaster, facing backwards
game of cricket where the variables are the ball and the weather
a relay race where the baton was precious wisdom
a jigsaw puzzle with the outside edges completed, bar one piece
fishing in a wide, shallow river
climbing a steep travelator like in Gladiators
walking along a busy travelator like the airport ones

We are wondering how many people stop to consider parts of their lives as living metaphors.
For example 'there's a (jigsaw) piece missing' can actually be an invitation for a metaphoric response like 'are you looking in the right place/where else might it be/do you know what you are looking for'. Or maybe a different question just popped into your head.

Violations

2009-06-24T11:20:00.000-07:00

Image by kirainet via Flickr

Our Master Pracs have been exploring linguistic generalisations, deletions and distortions - seeing, hearing and sensing the violations in language. Noticing what stops, starts and moves communication - and the directional flow. Violations seems such a good term, thank you Richard Bandler. Red flags come to mind too. Frequently ;-)

In simple terms we just know when we're walking alongside someone linguistically, don't we?

Now we're tuning in to the unconscious intention of the communication - what people are really communicate - the music behind the words. The movements between words. It's magic!

Guinea Pigs R Us

2009-06-21T00:08:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

Yesterday, we held a Metaphor workshop. Such a powerful method of communication with your unconcious mind and for problem solving.

By the end of today our NLP students will have reminded themselves of Meta programmes and I will have reminded myself not to drink more than one glass of wine at night! Not quite so bright this morning - so just off to ramp up my 'state' with some neurosonics and neurofen!

We've got some guinea pigs to play with today,
teenage ones at that!

NLP students are going to identify some patterns of behaviour and underlying strategies, for example one of our teenagers plays music in his mind during exams to help him recall info. How does this work for him?

Starting Somewhere

2009-06-20T00:29:00.000-07:00

Starting blog today - no profile set or photo yet. Will do later. Gotta start somewhere because I keep looking at this page and thinking about what I need to do to get started!
So I've chosen today even though it is a very busy day becasue I'm on day 2 training NLP delegates (Master Prac) and they arrive shortly. Hence the start. So many new thoughts emerge when you're working with others don't you think? I want to capture them in real time. Or that's the plan. Then I'll add photos n other me-related stuff.
So today we're still playing with submodalities and anchors. Working to conversationally change people. Elegant mapping of sub mods and covert stacking positive anchors (and collapsing a few). It has to be effortless. Natural and elegant. That's where we're at today ;-)